Why? I ask again, WHY??

I ran across a chuckle-inducing ad at the end of She-Hulk (vol. 1) #1 the other day while perusing some new additions to my collection. The toy company Corgi once came out with a line of ... super hero cars (vehicles), and some simply defy, well, logic.

Now take a gander at the lower left-hand corner. Why would Superman need a van?? Why would Captain Marvel need a race car?? ('Tho, admittedly, it's a lot cooler than a freakin' van!) And even if Supes did need a van, why would he advertise himself on it? Isn't that like painting some "Hey Lex Luthor! Please zap me with a red sun ray right here!" graffiti? And as for that Man of Steel flying vehi-, er, contraption, Corgi actually produced that based on an appearance of it in a real comic issue!



But what's worse are the villain vehicles. I mean advertising yourself when you're a homicidal maniac isn't exactly the pinnacle of intellectualism! Here we see the Dark Knight baddies Joker and Penguin cars:


Hey Penguin: Exactly what is the purpose of that umbrella? I mean, wouldn't that kinda obstruct the view of your getaway -- not to mention cause a substantial air drag on your getaway speed?

This sort of villain ... inanity reminds me of one of the most horrible movies I ever attempted to watch: "Super Dragon's Dynamo." This wretched Taiwanese flick featured a shady organization called the "International Criminals Group" (I.C.G.). As one of my good buddies remarked while reading its VHS box, "Huh? Doesn't that name kinda give it away?"

1970s and 80s comics ads: The severed finger (and more)

I'll never forget when I bought Iron Man #100. It was our local 7-11; I had ridden my Schwinn 10-speed up there with a couple quarters in hand, and upon exiting with this prized issue, I ran into a couple acquaintances of a good buddy of mine. I knew these guys were funny dudes, but I didn't realize how funny until they asked to see my comic ... and totally ripped on the ad on the back cover: The classic Spalding "Street Ball" featuring Rick Barry and Dr. J!! The funniest part was this panel:

How is that a 30-footer?? Look where he's jumping from! He's almost right next to the key, for cripe's sake!! A 30-footer is almost a half-court shot straight away from the basket! Check out professional court dimensions here. But hey, given the previous panel where 'ol Doc slams the balls home, they hadda make poor Rick look good somehow! (Full disclosure: I live near Philly and am a lifelong Dr. J. fan. Met him and got his autograph back in 1980.)

Then I noticed this ad after pulling that pic of Count Nefaria (from Avengers #165) for my Adamantium post:

OK, why would someone want a gag severed finger ... as a keychain?? And what "quality parts" does this "Finger Factory" use in their ... ingredients?? And last but not least, who would even fall for this??

Lastly, while combing through Deadman #1 (1985) there was this (very tiny) ad:

Twenty-four years ago and a tiny, barely noticeable ad wants $5.00 for ... magic spells. Call me crazy but it's this sort of ad that kinda makes wonder if $5.00 might actually be worth it ... !!

Geometrically challenged (and irresponsible) 1980s comics ads

OK, how 'bout this Cracker Jack ad I [re]discovered in Marvel Two-In-One #86 from 1982:

OK, no -- the coach didn't really say that (as if you couldn't tell via my pathetic Photoshopping), but can you imagine an ad like this being approved for publication today??

Then there's the next panel:

How freakin' far is it from the pitcher's mound to home plate on this field?? About six feet?? What sort of reaction time does poor Scottie have to get even half a swing of his bat?? SHEESH!!